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About Me Member Textile Artist Tashy-Chan22/Female/United Kingdom Recent Activity Deviant for 1 Year
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Statistics 229 Deviations
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Goodbye.

Tue Nov 3, 2009, 6:05 PM
First off I want to say sorry.

Secondly, I find myself single. I am once again alone in this world. It took me a long time to learn to trust people again, and now 5 years of my life are over and gone in 24 hours. Once again my life has fallen apart and I’m holding on to my sanity with the skin of my teeth atm. I feel numb and sick and cold. A large part of my personality was based around my partner, a lot of my mannerisms, sayings, everything in my room reminds me of him. And now he’s gone I frankly don’t want to live anymore.

So my DA gallery, FA, LJ etc etc will be removed in a months time. I am closing commissions on my Plushies forever. Current orders will be finished and sent out as planned. But no more. I have also resigned from JCC committee and removed myself from other convention registrations. several of my dolls will be sold.

E-mail addresses will remain active for 4 months. I want to remove all trace of myself from online. I don't want to be here anymore. It was never enough and in the end I failed, again. Once again I'm to blame and I just don't feel capable of rational thoughts. I'm thinking of "turning myself in" tomorrow. I cant sleep so I haven't thought that plan through yet. I just want to be so gone out of my head on painkillers that things blur into nothing.

Anime is for kids. Happy endings and love do not exist. Its taken me 10 years to work that one out.

I want everything gone. I’m sorry to everyone, looks like as usual I’ve let everyone down. I really just don’t think I deserve to breath. I hate myself. And don’t know if I will get through this. At the moment its just too much.

  • Mood: Desperate

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Devious Info

  • Current Residence: United Kingdom
  • Interests: BJD, Rock, hardcore Dance, Anime, Manga, lolita, cyber and Japan
  • Favourite genre of music: Rock and hardcore dance
  • Favourite poet or writer: Edgar allen poe
  • Favourite style of art: popart

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Comments


:iconspekle:
Thanks for the fav!!!!

--
'i do listen to the voices'
:icontashy-chan:
Most welcome as always ^_~

--
UK based ball-jointed-doll forum-ANGEL UNLIMITED: [link] for all your BJD and Super Dollfie needs.
:iconjadisofeternity:
Hi Tash! :wave:

Hadn't seen you for awhile so I just stopped by to say hello. Hope all's well with you. :hug:

(I'm not on DA much now 'cause school and 'cause I've gone back to Sa.n)

--
-------Jadis///...
:shamrock: "with God all things are possible" :shamrock:
:icontashy-chan:
I'm good! I got into my Animal management course!!! ^__^ its an A level... (sometimes called pre-diploma...) I don't know what your equivalent is? if I pass I get to work in ZOOOOSS O_O

I'm good now I've finished working full-time lol ^_^ I hope your doing okay ^__^ miss you *hugs*

--
UK based ball-jointed-doll forum-ANGEL UNLIMITED: [link] for all your BJD and Super Dollfie needs.
:iconjadisofeternity:
ANIMAL MANAGEMENT!!!!!! WOW!!!!!! THAT IS SO AWESOME!!!!!!!! I'M REALLY EXCITED YOU ARE DOING THAT, THAT SOUNDS LIKE THE PERFECT THING FOR YOU :D:D:D:D :D

I'm good, just a bit overwhelmed with my 2 literary theory classes and two other literature classes I'm auditing and all the stupid meetings grad students have to go to and my books are heavy. ...I'm in the creative writing program and none of my classes this semester are creative writing. ...so not fair... I LOVE theory, it's just overwhelming sometimes.

I'm trying to re-organize the writing community on Sa.n to make up for my lack of a writing class.

I miss you too. :hug: really glad to hear you are doing good.:nod: :D

--
-------Jadis///...
:shamrock: "with God all things are possible" :shamrock:
:iconarenheim:
Thanks for the watch! :)

--
simple is best.
:icontashy-chan:
You are most welcome ^^

--
UK based ball-jointed-doll forum-ANGEL UNLIMITED: [link] for all your BJD and Super Dollfie needs.
:iconlee-deity:
Hey, im going to Alcon as well ^^
My names Lee, whats up ^^

--
What he carries on his belt is a symbol of what he carries in his mind and heart - loyalty and honour.
- Bushido by Inazo Nitobe ☃
:icontashy-chan:
Hello ^^ Im trying to get to Alcon lol trying to convince my boss to let me have the time off lol how are you?

--
UK based ball-jointed-doll forum-ANGEL UNLIMITED: [link] for all your BJD and Super Dollfie needs.
:iconmangafan2000:
Your dolls are beautiful~ :)
[And i FREAKING love your webcam picture! XD]

--
*ZombieProstitute-RadioactiveMooseBrain-BoobFive*
'Hold fast to dreams, for if dreams die, life is a broken winged bird that cannot fly.'

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